I have always learned that the best way to learn about men is to keep a few honest male friends in your corner, ask them questions and watch their behavior and selection of women. They will never treat all of them the same, it’s so obvious which ones they love and care for and its easy to spot the ones they use for sex, even when you hear them tell the sweet one liners like “I Miss You” and “Cant Wait To See You”, so when I spotted this discussion on Another Blog I had to hear your opinions on their topic.
Have you ever said I love you and didn’t mean it? Well I recently sat down with a man who lied about love and he’s not ashamed to say it. “Jerry” recently emailed me to inform me that his jump off doesn’t want to jump off anymore and after a heated exchange between the two she threw the L word in his face. Saying “You were the one who always said I love you and I missed you.” Jerry laughed it off by saying neither one of us believed that. After reading his email, I sort of thought that maybe he had a point. There are signs to know if a person’s claim of love is valid or not.
1 – He Only Call For Sex - Jerry explained to me that he only called this chick when he wanted sex. This is a clear sign that someone doesn’t really love you. It’s all a game. If your phone rings late at night and if ALL the calls are about hooking up and having sex, love is probably the least bit legit.
2 – He Never Takes You Out - Jerry informed me that he and his jump off rarely went out, except for the occasional we ain’t did anything else but f*ck so we have to go out dates. I feel like you have to look at your relationship and figure out if it’s just blockbuster nights and sleezy hotels, love is probably the furthest thing going on.
3 – He Always Try To Have Sex – Jerry stated in his email that he would never go out with this girl if sex wasn’t some where in the factor, and he would try to have sex all the time. Does your man try to sex you anywhere? Is your relationship or agreement solely based on the two of you having sex? If that’s the case great, enjoy it, but know love has nothing to do w/ the two of you being together, even if you do call it making love instead of f*cking.
There are so many women who are oblivious to some these fact and will live in this fantasy that they are more than just a nice nut to a man even though she only see him at night, they don’t go out, you have no idea where he lives, he never answers the phone when you need him, he shows lack of interest in you, he claim he hate going on dates and have never met his friends.
What I can’t and don’t understand is, as a man, why cant men be honest, If you only want to bust one from time to time on the woman’s expense, give her the heads up and allow her to make the decision whether or not she’s down, why sell the women dreams if it’s just a fantasy?
Ladies?
all im saying is i had to learn the hard way. AND I LEARNED.
This topic is so hard for me right now. I just ended a “relationship” with a guy like this last night. I had to. I’d been dating him for three years and had never met his family. He had three kids and I only met them once but I was introduced as a friend. I knew in my heart that I was a throwback to him not a keeper but I wanted to “prove” to him I was worthy. I cooked (he barely ate)and I can cook. I washed his clothes let him borrow my car and my money but I could never get any kind of commitment out of him. I caught him in all kinds of BS but he always talked his way back into my life. Three Years of this crap and the only thing I can say is I’m happy it’s over. Now I have to go about repairing my self esteem and realize that I’ve been here in this same spot before and just as I moved on then I can move on now.
Thank You for sharing Dee Dee and from a woman to another woman, i love you girl, but you straight played yourself. I hope you had people in your life who tried to help you see the light, although you probably wouldnt have listened. This relationship shouldnt have gone for a year, you could have found a man to appreciate and love you long time ago. It’s so unfortunate so many of us believe we can show, prove and chage men because that not the case. My mother told me years ago, if you are dating a man you have to change or prove yourself to, you in a dead end relationship. Im so happy you made the decision for you to LEAVE but hon sayin your gone and remaining gone is another thing, So i pray you stick to your decision because you are beautiful and you come first, never put any man before you, he didnt deserve you and if you pray correctly, your prince charming will find his way to you fully equipped with no changes neccessary
Oh the question was how can you fall in love with a guy who only wants sex. For me it was easy what first started as just a booty call I tried to turn into a “relationship” he never told me we weren’t in one he just went along with the game. We did go out and we were seen in public alot. He was not only at my house in the night time but also in the day doing the yard and other things that needed to be done around the house. The problem was he never answered his phone in front of me, never picked up when I called and as I mentioned above I never met his family. Oh, he claimed to LOVE me and he gave me money at times and showed me he cared in other lil ways but there was always something nagging me in the back of my mind about him. Then “ding-ding it dawned on me…he was just not that into me.
Thank you Wanda. I did play myself I know but what done is done. Right now I’ve got to get back into me.
Dee Dee, i can understand where you’re comming from. but you know what, it took a long time, but i had to learn how to love me first. and now, its only ME ME ME.we make mistakes sometimes, but we must learn not to repeat them.im single now, because the pick of the litter at my age like them young like my daughter’s age, and the young men like older women,but not for love, more for LUST.